The Mommy Role

This is my first post and, to be honest, I had an extremely hard time coming up with a name for my blog. I knew from the moment my son peed in his ear as an infant that I wanted to write a blog about the realities of motherhood and parenting but finding the right title has proven harder than I imagined. It might even be harder than trying to keep clothes on your two year old if your child is anything like mine... Anyway, that is another story and another post. My first thought was naming it "Tales from the Crib" because, let's be honest, motherhood is often a horror story starring the cutest, most innocent looking villain. However, that was taken, much to my chagrin (although I am slightly relieved that my sentiments are shared among other mommies and that I am not, indeed, an awful person for thinking that my children have potential be the next leads in a Hitchcock or Stephen King adaptation). My next idea was tying together "memoirs" and "motherhood" or "childhood" and "chronicles." (Side note: I am an English  nerd and could not, would not, should not make a title without some literary element and apparently alliteration is my go-to.) This is where the struggle came in. I decided to toss "Childhood Chronicles" because this is not a blog about childhood-- my children are not writing about their daily experiences, nor am I reflecting back on my glory days. I am not chronicling their story but am instead shedding light on the opposite end of the spectrum: the adulthood, motherhood, parenthood stories.

 So, I was left with "Memoirs" and something that started with an M-- perhaps "Motherhood," maybe something with "Mommy"... But I really had a hard accepting that my new title is just "Mommy." I am currently a stay-at-home-mom of a wild, crazy, spirited two year old boy and a sweet, loving nine month old girl so I am literally "Mommy" from the moment I wake up to the moment those babies go to bed. And, even though this is my own blog and no one held a gun to me and screamed "WRITE A MOMMY BLOG," I often struggle with being boxed into this one role. Yes, I love being a mommy (the day I simply become "mom" or even worse, the dreaded "mother" is the day my children will live in time-out to think about what they've done to me) but sometimes I feel like that is all I am. And that is okay. After three years of being the constant booger-picker, butt-wiper, mess-cleaner, tickle-monster, book-reader, silly song-maker, I can want to be labeled something else. I don't want to always just be Mommy-- I want to be Mommy AND wife, teacher, student, sister, daughter, intellectual, and blogger extraordinaire. I think that moms often times feel pressure to be perfect and "by the book" when it comes to raising children, refusing to acknowledge the endless other "selves" that they are and were before children. I know I have always felt guilty leaving my children to go on a date with my husband or cried when I picked my son up from daycare at 5:00 PM instead of 4:00 PM because I had an after school meeting with a disgruntled parent of a student. Sometimes, I refuse the help or opportunities offered to me to slip back into another role that Molly, not Mommy, should assume. And then I find myself sitting here, struggling to create a title of my blog that revolves around just being a mommy.

Why do we as mothers do that? I love being a mother so much that it is hard for me to loosen the reigns but then I resent the fact that sometimes I am nothing more than "Mommy." I never want to just be a wife again, or just a teacher, sister, etc. I always want to be a mommy but I know I will try my hardest to not resent wanting to be something more. I don't mind assuming that role from sun up to sun down but I also will not feel guilty anymore when I also assume the mouth-of-a-sailor, loud, sings-raps-instead-of-lullabies friend or the I-need-all-night-to-study graduate student or even, my favorite, I-need-all-night-to-sleep wife (even though my husband wishes I were doing something else all night. Again, that will be another post). I think balance is important and staying true to and nurturing not only your children and your mommy role but also to everything else you are-- all of the beautiful, crazy, or secretive selves, including being a mommy.

So, with this new attitude, I proudly make my first Memoirs from Momma post. And I am also about to proudly march into my room, get in bed, and assume my book worm role and read until an ungodly hour. The mommy in me screams to sleep but my bibliophile inside is persuading me with an extra cup of coffee in the morning while Mickey Mouse Clubhouse blares from the living room.

Editors note: I went back to Tales from the Crib. It just FEELS right.

Comments

  1. Dear Molly Lou,
    Love your style. Love your honesty. Love your reality.
    Love you.
    Momma

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Mom Gut

Ten Years Later: Still Not Forgotten

Silence of Sadness